Bad Cover Versions: Mark Ronson: Stop Me

Apparently, saddling us with Lilly Allen and Amy Winehouse wasn't enough for producer Mark Ronson. He now wants to unleash a solo album of covers on us, leading off with a downright daft sort-of-cover of The Smiths' 'Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before', snappily retitled 'Stop Me'. Perhaps the most irritating thing about this is that, on paper, it's not a bad idea at all. 'Stop Me...' is the standout track off The Smiths' somewhat lacklustre swansong album. Being both sub-par by the band's standards yet not without considerable merit makes it an ideal choice for a Smiths cover version, especially as it lacks the musical complexity of earlier Smiths songs, making it easier to create an interesting arrangement for. The song's pub brawl lyrics put it nicely in line with the strain of tired and hackneyed social realism plaguing the indie scene currently. Also, a soul cover of a Smiths song will really piss off Morrissey fans, which is always funny. Unfortunately, the end result is dire. The original band arrangement, which, whilst nothing special, did at least have dynamic playing by a great band, is replaced by horribly pro-tooled strings and brass, together with an incongruous trip-hop drum line which does nothing but upset the song's natural rhythm. Vocals are provided by Daniel Merriweather, who replaces what was one of Morrissey’s most engagingly humorous vocals with a disinterested and clichéd reading, totally lacking in passion and missing out on the song's droll humour. A couple of verses from Diana Ross' 'Hanging Out' are tacked on to the end, which only serves to mangle the meaning of the two completely unrelated songs. And there you have it: a minor Smiths classic bludgeoned into a bland, safe, sure-fire hit that doesn't sound out of place when it comes on the radio - something that unfortunately, seems to be happening a lot.
I'm not sure really what Mark Ronson was trying to do here. Perhaps 20 or 30 years ago, rewiring an indie hit into a smooth, RnB soul hit might have been subversive, as there was a large period in indie's history when it simply wasn't talking to the charts. But these days, indie bands sell millions. The Arctic Monkeys' debut is the fastest selling debut album of all time, The Arcade Fire sell out concerts within half an hour of tickets going on sale, and even American indie faves The Shins went straight in at number 2 on the charts. Girls Aloud recently covered the Monkey's anthem 'I Bet That You Look Good In The Dole Cue' or whatever it's called, and the video for the Monkey's new single features as many scantily clad dancing girls as the latest Pussy Cat Dolls video. Most modern indie bands come ready made with slick, poppy tunes that are custom made for the charts, and all of them claim to be influenced by the Smiths. None of them need awakening to pop music, nor does any snobbery against the charts exist in the indie scene anymore. Not only does this cover version suck, there seems to be no reason for it to even exist.